On the subject of Luke Perry's death...

"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich) 03/04/2019 at 15:40 • Filed to: None

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With Luke Perry’s death at such a relatively young age of 52 from stroke, some of you in your 40s or older may be feeling a little anxious about your own mortality.

But I have come here to reassure you.

At worst, YOU HAVE LESS THAN 10 YEARS LEFT TO LIVE!!!!

But again, don’t worry. Strokes have very little to do with your age.

That means YOU’RE JUST AS LIKELY TO DIE TOMORROW!!!

But look at the bright side... many people survive strokes and go on to live long lives AS WHEELCHAIR-BOUND VEGETABLES!!!

So... nothing to worry about... nothing to worry about at all...

Tapas > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 15:46

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I say buy good insurance, revise/draft your will and most importantly - cherish the people you love as if you aren’t going to see them tomorrow.

Tekamul > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 15:47

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As someone currently at high risk for a stroke due to a medical mishap, you’r e not really helping.

Did it just get arm-tingly in here, or is it just me?

My bird IS the word > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 15:49

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You can die anywhere, at any time, in perfect health from a brain aneurysm. Pop! a nd you are gone.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Tekamul 03/04/2019 at 15:51

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Here... let me make you feel better with this nice field of poppies:

Which you can read about here:

https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/in-flanders-fields

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 15:55

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Every day I feel death’s hands come closer to my face as I sleep

That saying your post made me chuckle anyway, cause it’s important to continue laughing daily

Also, if I do wind  up dying early, there’s going to be a hell of a party extracted from what’s left of my 401k 

facw > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 15:59

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For more concrete numbers here’s SSA’s life expectancy chart:

https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html

By the chart if you are 40 and male , you have life expectancy of 78.5 years, which isn’t too shabby (women get 82.4). And only a 0.2% chance of dying in the next year (0.1% for women). The probability you will die in any year ends up looking like this:

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Tekamul 03/04/2019 at 16:02

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I SMELL TOAST!

Ash78, voting early and often > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 16:05

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“This is it.”

--The Strokes

Ash78, voting early and often > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 16:07

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I’m in better shape at 40 than at 20. I also don’t take nearly as many risks. I barely even drive anymore. I wonder if, actuarially speaking, I actually have a better life expectancy now than I did back then...

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > facw 03/04/2019 at 16:08

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Yeah but if you’re 40 now, then just 9 years from now , your chances of dying INCREASES BY 102% !!!!!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 03/04/2019 at 16:11

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“cause it’s important to continue laughing daily”

Ever see they Monty Python ‘Killer Joke’ sketch?

facw > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 16:13

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Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW! > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 16:14

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I want a hearse with side pipes to carry me to the final destination. Hell, I just want a hearse with side pipes.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Ash78, voting early and often 03/04/2019 at 16:21

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TheRealBicycleBuck > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 16:23

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The 2018 data isn’t out yet, so we’ll have to settle for 2017.

Age group Forty-five to Fifty-four:

Overall death rate = 417.6 per 100,000

Total Population aged 45 -54: 42,768,095

Your chances of dying from anything  is really small, but you are nearly 8 times more likely to die from cancer than stroke; nearly 5 times more likely to die in an accident than from stroke. The accident is most likely to occur at home, so hiding under the covers isn’t going to help. :)

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > TheRealBicycleBuck 03/04/2019 at 16:27

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“The accident is most likely to occur at home, so hiding under the covers isn’t going to help.”

... because your ceiling will collapse down on you... or worrying about having an accident which will result in a heart attack.

And if that doesn’t do you in, your spouse, kids or neighbour will!!!

shop-teacher > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 16:32

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Thanks, that’s very helpful.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > shop-teacher 03/04/2019 at 16:34

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I bet now you’re sure about wanting a hearse with side pipes at your funeral, right?

Tekamul > TheRealBicycleBuck 03/04/2019 at 16:36

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That is a very informative chart, but also really highlights that depressing birthday where your move from Unintentional Injury to Malignant Neoplasms.

DipodomysDeserti > TheRealBicycleBuck 03/04/2019 at 16:42

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Isn’t everyone’s chance of dying from something 100%?

Ash78, voting early and often > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 16:42

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Well, I cut my coke habit from 4 grams/day to 2, and I’m only in a couple of underground street racings clubs. So yeah, improvement.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Ash78, voting early and often 03/04/2019 at 16:45

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And don’t forget how your * other* Coke habit is gonna kill you as well...

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/feb/22/just-one-soft-drink-a-day-could-increase-cancer-risk-study-finds

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 16:50

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27 year old - HA! Take that olds

I’m going to die in an unintentional injury. Likely Fiesta ST or racecar related!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/04/2019 at 17:03

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Well you’re in Langley BC... so a forest fire might just get you... maybe by late this summer.

There was already a small one last August...

https://globalnews.ca/news/4374177/small-fire-forest-langley/

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 17:13

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I fully expect to be killed by Death. However, neither of us have found time in our busy social schedules to even set a date and time for us to catch up...

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/04/2019 at 17:15

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Just like the bloke who went away over the weekend when he binned his Mustang during a drag racing event at the Albany Airport in western Australia. 

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 17:16

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Oh, is kinja allowing me to respond now? Yes I have seen that sketch. I enjoyed it for what it was. 

shop-teacher > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 17:27

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No hearse will be necessary to carry my ashes in a coffee can.

GoodIdeaAtTheTime > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 17:28

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Despite our best efforts, death remains our nations #1 killer!

Future Heap Owner > DipodomysDeserti 03/04/2019 at 17:30

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On a long enough time horizon, yes. But “in the next 10 years”, no.

Future next gen S2000 owner > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/04/2019 at 17:37

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That shows maternal pregnancy complication(I assume) as a leading death of those <1. Isn’t maternal redundant? Is there a paternal pregnancy way down the list?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/04/2019 at 17:40

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Unintentional Injury here I come!

nermal > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 18:13

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Seems like a good excuse to YOLO a train of Jager Bombs then.

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/04/2019 at 18:21

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I just sat down for dinner after an appointment with my oncologist and looked up my age group on this table. I don’t know if my response should be ‘oh cr ap ’ or ‘ yeah, that sounds about right ’. Or maybe both...

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > nermal 03/04/2019 at 18:28

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Alcohol poisoning... another way to die...

ranwhenparked > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/04/2019 at 21:05

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Based on family history, I seem pretty likely to die sometime in my upper 60s of a heart attack. Though, maybe the curse is breaking with new technology, my uncle is 73 and has survived 3 of them, and my dad survived his 1 and is about to be 70. Oh well, q ue sera sera.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/05/2019 at 05:01

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my father died of a stroke aged 90 in 2015.

i think of it a lot